Life isn't always a bowl of roses.

I took these pics on the way home from the doctors yesterday. These are for my son. I promised him I would try to get some good shots of this wall. It is an old enclosure for a gas station that is closed down and many grafitti artists have painted along the wall.

I'm afraid my doc isn't very happy with my progress. He says I'm on that downward spiral that happens after someone becomes quite ill. He said each thing just adds to it and my health will continue to deteriorate if I dont do something radical right now. Like lose weight. NOW. I have lost weight since I moved here but it's been a lot slower than I thought it would be. It's kinda hard when your staring french food in the face. He is insisting that I put full effort into improving my health. (What about healing whats wrong with me?) He wants me to walk for at least an hour a day, change my eating habits (which arent really bad anyway) and he wants me out of the house. For some reason I am supposedly depressed?!?! I dont get it. I'm happier than I have ever been in my life. Sick? yes. Depressed? NO!!!! He says I need to make friends, have a social life, go do things. I DO have a social life. Granted its not a whirling overwhelmingly full calender but we do go do things. We have people over. We go places. It all boils down to the fact that I dont speak french yet. I guess if Im not out there speaking french and conversing with everyone in sight that I am depressed. GO figure. I havent been out much this last month and a half and thats not good...doesn't anyone remember that I have been SICK for a month and a half?!?!?! Can you tell I'm a bit pissed at the prognosis?

Anyway...yesterday was less than a cheery day as I headbutted with D about how unacceptable my prognosis was. He agrees with the doc and now that silly man has put ideas in D's head that Im not happy. So my next few months will be filled with intense french study and long walks. I doubt that I will be getting much done in creating. I see my shop opening moving farther and farther away. I guess I am selfish to be so unhappy about it. It is the first time in a long time that I have had a chance to create though. I have had so much fun over that last several months letting my mind free to do what it wanted. Painting cloth like I so love to do. I almost feel like this is a death sentence. What if when I finally come up for breath and have the time to do what I want to again...what if the muse is gone then? Am I silly for being so afraid? There was a time when I embraced the idea of learning french. Now I only see it as an obstacle. No matter how much I have studied, how hard I have tried, I still cant understand 99 percent of the people out there. D says it could take years.....YEARS. *sigh*

SO this is what I worked on night before last. The ground cover for the base of my little cottage. I am liking it so far and the cottage looks sweet among a field of flowers. This was totally experimental as I felted it onto a piece of tshirt knit. I wasnt sure that it would work but it actually worked like a dream. The needle was loud going in and I was afraid I would break one but after the first hesitant thrusts I got the hang of it. I will probably try other fabrics in the future. I have no premade felt to felt onto. I have polar fleece (little bits) but otherwise nothing to felt onto.
I dont plan on completely stopping my creating. I will try to squeeze as much in as possible but if I am to learn French like I have been told I need to then I will have to devote much more time to it. I am hoping that once I have a chance to breathe again that by doing some creating during this time I wont have lost my inspiration.
2 comments on "Life isn't always a bowl of roses."
  1. I think you should ask another doctor.

  2. Then make some....I have told you how several times, and you know that I do my felt pictures,clothes,WTV, and haven't even been introduced to the needle game yet. =p
    Luv ya =)